Molly X. Chang’s debut novel To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods is out today!!! I honestly have never been more excited to read a book and I hope I can relay some of that excitement here. This book absolutely delivered a plethora of emotions and I need to talk about them like right now so grab your favorite bubble tea and let’s chat about the beautifully complex book that is To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods. 

The book follows Ruying, a girl blessed by Death with the ability to pull a life right into her hands, who’s doing everything she can in order to survive and protect her family with her country invaded by foreign invaders. When her gift is discovered by an enemy prince, he offers her an unfeasible deal that he swears is for the good of both their words: work for him and become his private assassin in order to eliminate those who are in his way and never have to worry about her family starving or being harmed every again. But to agree to his deal would mean Ruying would be turning on her own people and giving into her Gift which will ultimately cost her years of her own life. Will she be able to trust this prince by using her powers for his claims of the greater good? Or will Ruying end up betraying her own nation in order to protect those she loves most? 

First of all the world building: it’s incredible albeit a little bit confusing. The world is purely magical rich, enriched with beautiful folktales that I could not help but vividly imagine everything Ruying ended up describing the beautiful but broken world that she lived in. The stories were so cool and I am an absolute sucker for fairytales so that in itself was a huge bonus because the fantasy was real people and I was having a grand old time. The Chinese proverbs sprinkled throughout the book was an astute test to my deteriorating Chinese skills but honestly made me appreciate them even if they sounded like they came out from a fortune cookie. While the overall world was a bit complex, think that Molly X. Chang handled the world building pretty solidly and I was nonetheless still very intrigued by all the magic that was happening all around. 

As for Ruying and Antony, I have honestly never felt more conflicted. On one hand, I understand Ruying’s intentions of being desperate enough to agree to work with the enemy in order to  give a better life to her family but on the other head, I didn’t want her trusting Antony because I’ve read way too many murder mysteries to be as trusting as she is. Antony is also like the most morally gray love interest I have ever read and frankly I’m not sure what to think. I think that both he and Ruying are torn by their obligations to fully trust each other and they do have their own reasons for doing what their doing but as I watched their cautious love bloom, I could only screech from the sidelines and pray that everything ends up okay. As for Ruying’s sister and Baihu, honestly their goals stressed me out even more because everyone’s goals are against each others and there’s conflict and betrayal and I am too stressed for this I swear I’m not okay anymore. 

In the end, I was way too emotional and I think my older sister can attest to me screeching throughout the house when I got to certain parts of the book. I did really love how Molly X. Chang conveyed the complexity of morals during times of war and I was nothing short of heartbroken for Ruying’s internal struggle in coming to terms with the actions and choices she made throughout the book. This debut novel isn’t perfect by any means but I do think that the central message and beautiful portrayal of so many emotions made this more worth it at least in my end. I do think there are some more heavy topics that people might not be okay with but I do think that this book is worth checking out and I hope that if you do pick it up, you’ll enjoy it as much as I did.