And yet another contemporary novel that made me have the feels, but not the lovey dovey kind. This was another book on my sister’s bookshelf, and being on the top shelf means that it was a book she really enjoyed. So being an an annoyed and bored potato because I had gotten nagged by my mother previously and didn’t want to go to sleep, I grabbed it and blew through it in about 4 hours. It ended up being the most emotional and relatable 4 hours of my life and while I didn’t really cry while reading this book (shocker I know), I did mentally want to wallow in a ball of sadness. I have acquired my orange slices now so I will now shut up and start the review.

Starfish centers around Kiko, a biracial teenage girl who wants nothing more than to get into an art school and leave the hell she calls home. After reuniting with her childhood best friend, Kiko’s given a chance to escape. And she takes it in a heartbeat. What follows is an incredible journey of a girl who learns to accept her heritage for who she is and gather up courage to speak what’s on her mind. Starfish is a book about family, identity, and finding hope in a world that often makes it difficult to even smile at times.

Sooo this book hit way too close to home and I feel attacked. Kiko’s relationship with her mother and brothers made me want to go give my parents and older sister a hug because I don’t think I realized how privilege I was, nor how toxic family relationships can be. Seriously, the levels of toxicity made me want to jump into the book just so I can wave red flags in Kiko’s face or tell her to get the heck out of there and away from her mom. Reading about Kiko’s sort of growing up story as many Disney and Pixar movies are now telling, was incredibly heartfelt and full of emotion I’m almost certain this book was written coming from personal experience.

I loved watching Kiko grow out of her comfort zone and learn to stand up against her mother’s verbal abuse in which she was unable to do so for years on end. Her seeking to please her mother in hopes of finding any sort of acknowledgment and love was absolutely devastating to read and I know that if I was in her place even a few years ago, I would’ve done the same. Kiko’s pining for her mother’s love all these years annoyed me so much because it was obviously unhealthy but it also set up the expectation that the people closest to you couldn’t possibly hurt you. Also, I’m 99% certain that her mother made her feel worthless because she was insecure about herself which is a load of bs and she needs to get her butt to therapy.

In the end, picking up this book was definitely worth it. There were some aspects of the book that I was slightly uncomfortable with such as the fact that this book basically excused Kiko’s mother’s behavior with having a mental disorder and demonizing certain mental disorders. Nevertheless, the writing told the story beautifully and quite literally paints inspiration into your head. I hope that if you do end up reading this book, you’ll enjoy and love it as much as I did.